Every August, life somehow finds a way to double in size overnight.

One minute you’re loading a mini-fridge into a dorm room and squinting at a tuition bill, wondering how it got that big. The next, you’re on the phone with your mom, realizing her pill organizer hasn’t been refilled in a week, or noticing your dad told you the same story twice in one conversation and didn’t seem to notice.

Sound familiar? You might be part of what people call the Sandwich Generation — not a title anyone signs up for, just what happens when your kid needs you to help them grow up, and your parent needs you to help them hold on, and somehow both of those things are happening in August.

Here’s the Legal Curveball Nobody Warns You About

Quick question: did you know that the day your kid turns 18, your legal authority over their life basically evaporates? Even if nothing else has changed. Even if they’re still on your insurance and coming home for Thanksgiving.

Here’s how that can bite you. Say your son’s landlord is being difficult about a security deposit, and he asks you to make a call on his behalf because he’s buried in exams. The landlord won’t tell you anything — legally, it’s not your lease, it’s his. Same week, your mom’s Medicare Advantage plan denies a claim, and when you call to straighten it out, the rep won’t discuss her account either, because nobody ever put your name on file.

Neither of these is a five-alarm emergency by itself. But they land in the same week, and they both boil down to the same annoying problem: nobody signed the piece of paper that would’ve let you just… help.

For your college kid, that paper is usually a health care power of attorney, a HIPAA release, and a financial power of attorney. Don’t let the legal names scare you — these don’t hand over control of anyone’s life. They just say, “if I’m not around or not able to deal with this, here’s who can.” Think of it less as a leash and more as a spare key.

Before the semester gets away from everyone, it’s worth a five-minute conversation. Does your student know their insurance info off the top of their head? Do they know who to call if their bank card gets frozen or their account locked? Do they actually understand what they’re signing, instead of just scribbling their name because you asked nicely?

Your Parents Deserve the Same Five Minutes

The other side of the sandwich comes with the same questions, just higher stakes.

Most parents already have something — a will, a power of attorney, maybe an advance directive from years ago. The real problem usually isn’t whether it exists. It’s whether anyone besides your parent knows where it is, whether it’s still accurate, and whether the people named in it are even the right people anymore.

A power of attorney signed fifteen years ago might name your uncle, who’s now three states away and hasn’t returned a call since 2019. An advance directive only helps if someone can actually find it when it matters. “It’s in the office somewhere” isn’t a plan — it’s a scavenger hunt, and nobody wants to be hunting for paperwork on what’s already the worst day of their year.

This is also a good excuse to ask the question everyone avoids: what would Mom or Dad actually want if they couldn’t manage on their own anymore? Where would they want to live? Who do they trust to make the call? You don’t have to nail down every answer at once — but it’s a much easier conversation over Sunday dinner than it is in a hospital hallway.

You Don’t Have to Fix Everything This Weekend

Take a breath. None of this has to happen all at once.

Pick one evening this month — that’s it, just one — and figure out where the important paperwork actually lives, for your student and for your parents. Check who’s named to step in, and whether that still makes sense. Jot down the stuff that would matter in a pinch: doctors, insurance carriers, account numbers, who to call first.

Then just see what’s missing, and chip away at it.

Being needed by two generations at once is tiring enough without also being unprepared for the moment something goes sideways. You don’t need a perfect plan by Friday. You just need to know that when the phone rings with bad news, someone besides you already knows what to do.

If you’d like help sorting through your family’s documents — for a college-age kid, an aging parent, or both — Frankel Estate Planning & Elder Law is happy to walk through what you’ve got, what’s missing, and what to tackle first.